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I alternated between wringing my hands, making proactive plans, and desperate crying. My son was having a hard time and I was frantic to solve it. He was only ten years old. Surely a mother’s love could do no less!
You see, I had just found out that every day at recess my son played alone.
In my concerned mind this grew and became increasingly disturbing as I began to wonder, “What if something is terribly wrong? What if he can never make friends?” And mostly I wondered, “What do I need to do to fix this?”
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the stories that God has written for my children. I can’t know what those stories are, but I can know, without a doubt, that they will be difficult stories, because God has promised us that we all will have trials, and that includes our kids.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33
But we have another promise from God. That is his promise that our trials will bring us strength:
“We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.”
Romans 5:3-4
The trials that our kids go through that we are so determined to shield them from are God’s design to develop the character of our children and teach them to depend on him.
And remember, we want them to depend on HIM, not on us! (Right??)
I wanted to save my son from his recess problem, but God used that season to teach him the art of making friends. I am so thankful now that he had the opportunity to learn that lesson and grow from that experience!
Recently, my friend Jen Lints told the story of her young friend, Shea, in a blog post called “Creating Beauty.” Shea is a freshman-going-on-sophomore who loves Jesus and who knows what it’s like to have a hard time at school, because she has dyslexia.
Here is what Shea’s mom, Justine, said about her daughter’s struggles with dyslexia:
One in five are dyslexic. Some argue it’s 1 in 4. About 3 years ago we finally figured out that Shea is dyslexic. I have a video where a tutor had just started working with Shea and had her form her letters with clay and then close her eyes say them forward and then say them backward. This is the first time she had done it. I had never taught Shea her alphabet backwards. The dyslexic mind is so amazing! They are picture thinkers. Picture and tactile learners. In the classroom, which is NOT set up for the dyslexic mind, dyslexic children can seem confused, quiet and closed off. It’s because they have to work SO much harder than the non-dyslexic mind just to translate everything the teacher saying. When actually their mind is capable of more than most and usually incredibly brilliant artistically. If you are dyslexic, or the parent of a dyslexic child, you know the tears that go into each night over homework, specifically any reading, spelling and math. You know the self-esteem struggles you/your child work so hard to fight against. As a toddler Shea did things that FAR surpassed any other child, and far surpassed anything my subsequent children ever did. Her mind works in the most amazing ways. I could go on and on about how brilliant this child is. I’m sharing this because I hope it encourages anyone on their journey with a dyslexic child. Or maybe you yourself are dyslexic. There are incredible resources available. There are teachers out there who know how to teach these picture thinkers and brilliant minds. The dyslexic mind is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever witnessed. Shea, you amaze me.
Out of the ashes of Shea’s tears and frustration grew a beautiful gift.
Shea has discovered that she has an incredible talent with watercolors. Her dyslexic mind, which caused her so much frustration with schoolwork and which she and her mom so desperately wanted to fix, was the same incredible mind endowed with that beautiful artistic gift.
Out of the ashes of Shea’s tears and frustration grew a beautiful gift.
Shea describes her introduction to watercolors like this:
I got into watercolors one day while at an over night camp. At the camp you had to choose an activity, and I decided to do the water color activity. When I came home, I couldn’t stop. It was so fun and I loved exploring something I love. Art has also been such an encouragement to me. The classroom has been difficult for me because I have dyslexia. Art has always been a place that makes me feel comfortable and inspired.
Parents, let’s trust God with the story he has written for our children! He is good. He loves them more than we can even imagine. They are safe in his hands. Those divine hands are using their difficult stories to mold them into his creative masterpieces. He’s building strength within them to stand firm in this world until they are called home to Him.
